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Saturday, September 11, 2010

79 Days: Obscure Talents

Having cultivated in my youth a desire to be totally awesome, I have often diverted off the road-taken-quite-frequently in order to learn how to do things that would increase my stature as a person of high coolness.

For example, here are some things I can do now (though no promises that I can do them at all well):

  • Juggle
  • Drive a motorcycle
  • Play the guitar
  • Tap dance
  • Play racquetball
  • Whistle
  • Use self-defense to put a man on the ground
  • Spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ... to song!
  • Play goalie in soccer
  • Speak a bit of Spanish
  • Win many staring contests
  • Write a sonnet, a haiku, an ode . . .
  • Sing all the words to countless Elvis songs, tons of 80s songs, and about a billion songs from musicals. Plus, you know, approximately 70,000 other songs in various categories.
  • Make a very - unfortunately - convincing monkey face.
  • Beat-box
  • Play Flash Flash Revolution (it's like DDR for your fingers)
  • Say a few words in Russian
  • Stare into someone's soul
Okay, so the last one's not true. (Or is it?) Also, one very important thing that I can't seem to do is my homework. So what say I stop procrastinating now and go read a couple essays on "the crisis in English studies"?

Yeah. It makes me want to vomit, too.

3 comments:

Robin said...

I'm not really sure that vomitting will get your homework done, but you kids seem to have all kinds of new techniques. I guess you have to do what works. Just shoot for the bowl.

Oh, you're good at that, too. I don't remember you ever not making it to the toilet when you needed to throw up (aside from as a baby, of course). That is an important talent.

Karen Mello Burton said...

Funny! I have some obscure talents too, like juggling, that I use to entertain my kids and my students, but what else does it get me?

Jessica Grosland said...

Silly Kazzy. You don't learn to juggle for other people. You learn to juggle for yourself.