Graduate

It's official. I am no longer a high schooler. I have evolved beyond such mediocrity. I am now . . . a graduate.

DUH DUH DUNN!!!

Yeah, so I graduated on Thursday. It was pretty sweet. My favorite part was definately when we moved our tassles from right to left, were pronounced officiallly graduated, and then we threw our caps into the air despite constant warnings not to. I was pleased with our rule-breaking.

The All-Night party was quite excellent. However, I failed to get punch-drunk like the rest of my friends, and so I spent the last half of the party feeling awfully bored. I did get hit on by some guys I didn't know though. That was . . . interesting. It must have been the pigtails. I look fantastic in pigtails. (*rolls eyes*)

Oh, and did anyone else get their car handles filled with vaseline?

Anyway, this is my last post for the next little while. I'm heading off to California tomorrow. My family and I are going to Disneyland to celebrate my graduation. So have fun jumping in the sprinklers, Springvillians. I'm going to be at Space Mountain!

Yearbooks

So, I found out that no matter how bad people usually are at signing yearbooks with something more motivational than "HAGS!" or "Your such a QT! Lets hang out this summer!" it all changes with Senior Year. It's like we suddenly realized that this time it's really goodbye for most of us. We realized this was our last chance to tell some of these people what kind of impact they had on our lives. And even though most of us still aren't gifted with eloquence, a little sincerity goes a long way. I am thoroughly delighted with what was written in my yearbook this year.

And it turns out that a lot of people are really excited that I'm going to stay in Utah. It really is making the whole fiasco with BYU worthwhile for me. If I had been planning on going to BYU all along, no one would have said a thing. But since most people thought I was leaving them forever, now that I'm going to stay it seems like a lot of people were going to miss me, and they're all stoked that I'll still be around to drive them batty. The crazies...

Well, it's nice to be appreciated. (*smiles*)

To my fellow upcoming graduates: Let's do this thing!

Explanation

Okay, so my latest blog-entry was pretty much depressing, because when I wrote it, I was pretty much depressed. I failed to include any details as to the source of my soul's torment at the time because I was still struggling with it, and I have a tendency to hide my problems from my friends. I will now indulge you all in an explanation as to my current distress.

I have always wanted to go to college out of state. Since I was little, I remember thinking that as soon as I was able I was going to get out of here and see the world for what it really is. I was going to throw myself into an entirely alien situation, surrounded by strangers in a strange land (*grins*) in order to challenge myself and see what I was really made of.

A few months ago, that dream became a reality. I was accepted into Purdue University in Indiana. Hazey hopes now became plans. I started to gather necessities. I arranged for housing. I told everyone I would soon be leaving them all, and I began to get used to this idea. I would love the chance to be pen pals with some of my dearest friends, and I felt like it would be a good situation all around: I would make fantastic new friends and perhaps strengthen the bond with a few old friends over the 1,000 miles from Utah to Indiana. Despite minor feelings of remorse at leaving everyone behind, I was completely estatic to be having my own adventure.

Then Real Life whacked me on the head with the blunt end of a chainsaw.

I found out that I had received the Heritage Scholarship at Brigham Young University. This meant that I would receive full tuition for four years of my education. With that in mind, I realized that if I attended Purdue, even if I qualified for the loans I would be $100,000 in debt by the time I graduated. And if I was planning on being a teacher, there's little chance I'd EVER be able to pay that off. My entire future family would have to live under the weight of that debt.

And thus, my dream was yanked out from under me.

I know it may not seem like a big deal to you guys. Yes, BYU is a fantastic school. Yes, a full-tuition scholarship is a wonderful thing. Yes, I'll be able to attend all my friend's mission farewells, and keep the rest of my friends close. Yes, I'll be 20 minutes away from my family, and I can visit whenever I run out of money for food. Yes, these are all perfectly good reasons to be excited that I'm going to BYU.

(*looks down, embarrassed and ashamed*)

But I wanted so badly to have an adventure.

And say what you want about the thrilling adventures I'll have in ZoobieLand, but it's not the same.

And I am disappointed.

Turmoil

My heart is being rent in two. Dreams of adventure clash with nightmares of desolation as I lie on my bed, twisted in torment, tears trailing down my face. Bad enough to be devoid of choice. Far worse to have to decide between two broken futures, no alternative but sorrow and regret. Which path will bring the least amount of pain? Which path can I actually survive?

What was yesterday an enticing playground is now a cruel wasteland, mocking my presumptuous ambitions. My future is gone. My ever-expansive possibilities reduced to a decision between two death-marches. Do I sacrifice the dream? Or do I sacrifice my prospects?

College is dumb.

Luggage

So yesterday my dear old Grandpa Grosland came by with a graduation present for me. It's something he and my Grandma used to use all the time, on both of their missions and various other travels, and I was very excited to get it because I do not have any of my own and I will certainly be needing it.

It was a set of luggage. One normal-sized suitcase, one large suitcase, and one big-fat-mama trunk. All on wheels. All in fantastic condition. And all waiting to be filled.

(*gulps*)

It's really happening. I'm really moving away. It's only just started to hit me in the last week or so, because thus far I've been too excited to graduate or to be accepted into college to worry about the realities of it. But now I'm really starting to understand that in a few desperately short months I'm going to have to say goodbye to everything and everyone I've ever known.

What do you do when you want to go on an adventure, but you want all your friends to come too?

AP Testing

So this week marks the beginning of AP Testing, and thus far I already have several complaints.

Okay, maybe just two.

Number One: The Little Theater is no place to have an AP Test. AP Test guidelines barely allow us to breathe very loudly in each other's presence; noise is supposed to be prohibited. But when you're taking an AP Test in the Little Theater, it's:



Brrring! Brrring! Brrring! went the payphone.

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! went the flutes.

Wack! Jang! Blam! went the electric guitar.

"Stouthearted Men!" went the Men's Chorus.

"Yo le Canto!" went the Singers.

"True Love's Kiss!" went the Women's Chorus.

And that's when Jesse Lewis lost it and ate Mr. Johnson.

--

Number Two: All of my friends were in the AP Lit test today and Singers felt all wrong. Even in my other classes, where I don't usually see my friends, I was thinking about them the whole time. "Gee, I wonder if Aubrey ever figured out what denotation meant?" "Golly, I hope Logan went to bed at a decent hour last night." "Hey! I wonder if Mr. Johnson got someone to write Eric's essays for him?" It was maddening! I couldn't get you guys out of my head. You guys are never allowed to take an AP Test all at the same time ever again!

By the way, to all those who still have AP Tests to take: Best of luck.


Remember:

There's next week.
And then there's the next week.
And then we NEVER HAVE TO COME TO SCHOOL AGAIN!!!!

Death to all Mondays!

Seriously. Today was definately a Monday in all ways imaginable. I went through my "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" Checklist with supreme efficiency this time:

1 - Wake up late.
2 - Get ready very quickly, have something go wrong, and STILL manage to be late to school.
3 - Sulk through Orton's government class. It wasn't so bad, though. We watched a movie, so I didn't have to pretend to listen to her talk.
4 - Have a sectional with Thueson in Concert Choir. Manage to piss Thueson off even without talking - sorry, I mean poisoning the class.

5 - Realize halfway through the day that I have a ton of homework that I still need to finish.

6 - Realize ten minutes later that I can't possibly do any of that homework because I have a big test tomorrow. (AP Stats. You're jealous, Logan! I can tell!)

7 - Draw suicidal pictures in Financial Literacy and try desperately not to breathe in the stupid.

8 - Get home and listen to another mini-lecture on how I'm turning into a society-menacing hoodlum.

9 - Fret as my bike starts to fall apart beneath me on my way to work.

10 - Iron other people's clothing for a few hours.

11 - Get home and realize that I forgot to turn off the iron at work. Call in to get it taken care of before the place burns down.

12 - Pray that, somehow, I will make it to graduation.

I'm really hoping that it's just Monday that's messing me up. But I have the AP Stats test tomorrow and two choir concerts later this week, so I may just be screwed.

But, as always, every rain cloud has a silver lining or two. And a few things have brought me joy today. I picked up my Senior 2009 poster. I have leftover lasagna at my house. And I'm wearing this purple wristband that I can't look at without smiling. So, all in all...

OH WAIT!!

Beth made took this picture of me last week, and she used her FANTASTIC photo-shop skills to make the photo completely AWESOME! Check it out!

Tee hee. It may not seem very cheerful to you, but it totally makes my day. Thanks, Beth!