Temporal Anomaly

The whole time I've been in Russia, my family has been enjoying pointing out that I'm in the future. "It's Sunday where you are?" they'll ask. "Here it's only Saturday night! Crazy!" And it's true: St. Petersburg is eleven hours ahead of Utah. While that makes it slightly difficult to schedule Skype sessions - we have to talk early in the morning or late at night, in one place or the other - it hasn't really mattered to me day-to-day. My days are just as long here are they would be back home, except that there's a lot less sun. (The sun hasn't been rising until around 10:45am lately.)

However, the whole mess of time zones will become rather interesting once I start flying home tomorrow. Because although December 21st is supposed to be the shortest day of the year (astronomically speaking), this December 21st is going to be the longest day of my life. Literally.

Here, let me show you my calculations:

My Temporal Paradox


The first plane I take, from right here in St. Petersburg, doesn't take off until 7:35am. So that's 7 hours and 35 minutes already.  (Subtotal: 7 h 35 m) (Official Time: 7:35am) 


My flight to Frankfurt is scheduled to last 3 hours and 15 minutes. (Subtotal: 10 h 50 m) (Official Time: 7:50am)

Our layover in the Frankfurt airport is 2 hours 20 minutes long. (Subtotal: 13 h 10 m) (Official Time: 10:10am)


From Frankfurt, I'll be flying completely over the Atlantic Ocean and almost the entire continental United States - to San Francisco. That flight is 11 hours and 30 minutes. (Subtotal: 24 h 40 m) (Official Time: 12:40pm)

Then, in San Francisco we have a very long layover - 6 hours and 20 minutes. (Subtotal: 31 h) (Official Time: 7:00pm)

At long last, I will fly from San Francisco to Salt Lake City, Utah. That flight only takes 1 hour and 42 minutes. (Subtotal: 32 h 42 m) (Official Time: 9:42pm)

Finally, I will go home to my old bed in my old house in my old neighborhood. And I will sleep - but there will be 2 hours and 18 minutes left before midnight. That brings us to our


GRAND TOTAL: 35 hours


. . . in one day.


Albert Einstein, eat your heart out.


Now, there may be some of you clever folk who are thinking "Bah! That's not really a paradox. When you flew to Russia you lost time, now you're just gaining it back." Well, that's a valid argument. Or, at least, it would be . . . if it weren't for Daylight Savings Time!

See, this is where it really gets weird: when I left Utah and flew to St. Petersburg, I lost ten hours. But since I've been here, the good folks in the USA have changed all their clocks for Daylight Savings Time - and Russia doesn't participate in Daylight Savings Time. So when I fly back to Utah, I will be gaining not ten hours, but eleven.

That means coming to Russia gave me an extra hour of life.

How sweet is that?!



Sidenote: This post may or may not be an attempt to prove to my friends and admirers that when I get home I will be too exhausted to come to all of your parties. The invitations are, however, appreciated.