Rehearsing and Performing

Today I had the opportunity to perform at Devotional with the University Chorale. We reported to the Marriott Center at 10:15 (almost an entire hour early) and started warming up. Once everybody had arrived and climbed over each other, trying to find a seat in their section in this confusing new setting, our conductor motioned for us to stand. The rehearsal began.

It was painstaking. We'd been rehearsing the song (among others) since September, but never had we pounded it out quite as methodically as we did today. First we had to fix our vowels. Then we had to fix our intonation. Then pacing. Then dynamics. Then phrasing. Then lift. And finally, we were reminded to fix our faces. "The cameras will be right on you," our conductor said. "Be excited. Tell the story with your face."

It was a bit stressful. I was worried about our ability to focus on all of those things at once, and I was worried that my worry would keep me from having a story-telling face. I wanted more time to rehearse, but the organ was starting to play. Devotional had begun.

So we performed. And you know what? It went really well. I had fun singing the song, feeling the music as I connected with my fellow performers, conductor, and audience. The Spirit was there, and it filled in the gaps in our performance. Everything was okay. Actually, everything was pretty terrific!

It wasn't until later that I realized that this is what writing is often like for me.

Prewriting, outlining, drafting, revising, redrafting, and editing - these are the literary forms of rehearsal, and they can vary from fun and exciting to painstaking and miserable, depending on the day. The closer I get to the performance (actually turning something in), the more anxious and stressed I get about every flaw in the rehearsal. But once the performance comes - do or die - I find that my fears were mostly for naught. My hard work has paid off, and my progress shows.

This is also usually the time when I remember that writing (or singing) is something I choose to do. Because it's fun. And despite all of my doubts and anxieties, I am good at it.

I am really grateful for performance days.