Okay, that's not really true. But it best captures the emotions that came upon me when I saw that I had an email from BYU's English Teaching department. My stomach clenched, my heart constricted, and a wave of fright flooded my body. I stared and stared at that one line of text, dreading what the email might contain.
For those of you who don't know, I applied to the English Teaching program just before leaving the country. At BYU, English Teaching is a closed major. The application process is long and labored, involving many essays and other paperwork. The last thing I had to do before I left was have an interview with Dr. Chris Crowe - who happens to be the author of a book I loved, so I was entirely intimidated during the whole thing. I came away from the interview very nervous, having found out that the English Teaching program only accepts approximately 30 students per semester. 30 students? I thought. BYU has over 30 THOUSAND students! What kind of a chance do I possibly have? I came here to Russia knowing that while I was here, countless other students would be turning in their applications and attending interviews; the deadline wasn't until halfway through September. I wouldn't be informed of my acceptance or rejection until mid-October.
Apparently, mid-October is today.
I couldn't open the email. I just couldn't. I thought about how much I've learned about teaching with the ILP, how I'm sure - more than ever - that teaching is what I want to do. I knew that the email probably held a rejection, and I didn't want to read it. I didn't want to have to consider what I'd have to do to try and become a teacher if my school rejected me.
But I had to read it. I had to know. So I stepped back and prayed. I leaned right over the computer desk and I prayed. For weeks I've been praying that God would go with my application, softening the hearts of those who read it and helping them to see my fervent desire to teach. Today, though, I didn't pray to be accepted. I knew the decision was made. Instead, I prayed that God would be with me, to give me peace and comfort no matter what the email said. I finished my prayer and looked at the screen again, staring for a few more moments. Then, impulsively, I clicked to open the email.
I read,
"Congratulations! The Admissions Committee has recommended you for acceptance into the English teaching major....
You need to get fingerprints taken ASAP. When do you return from study abroad? Please let me know what your plans are so we can work out the details....
In order to be successful in our program, it is essential that you make a professional commitment to preparing for a career in teaching. Your commitment will be measured, in part, by the quality of your academic work, the ability to be on time, to complete work on time, to accept suggestions, and to develop good communication skills. Of course, you must also be comfortable in a classroom, working with and supervising 30-40 teenagers at a time....
We need good teachers, and we are pleased that you want to be a part of this profession.
Jacqueline S. Thursby, Director
English Education Program"
And thus, the hydra turned out to be really just a great big hug from the cuddliest teddy bear in the world.
I GOT IN! I'm on my way to being a real English Teacher!!!
